Tag Archives: chinese

Not-so-funny Fortunes



The Asians are just way too smart for me, they clearly have the same “skinny Goddess” as we do here in America, who plans and plots scenarios and makes sure they go her way before they even happen. Hence, this fortune cookie, that I opened after devouring a box the size of my face of General Tso’s chicken, an egg roll soaked in duck sauce, and several crab rangoons. How funny! Not.

Indeed, Skinny Goddess, tomorrow I MAY diet. I didn’t, though. I didn’t diet at all. TAKE THAT, UNIVERSE!

I must say though, I do strongly encourage everyone to splurge on copious amounts of Chinese every few months or so. It’s quite therapeutic, and although all you want to do afterwards is sleep, or complain about how terrible you feel for eating so much, it’s totally worth all that shame and self-loathing.

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